Introversion Defined for the Rest of You

Technically, introversion is a result of the way your body processes external stimuli. However, for whatever reason, society has decided that the way introverts react to external stimuli is wrong, so I thought I’d attempt to explain it in a way extroverts can understand. This is my contribution to society and makes up for using styrofoam cups and taking long showers because I’m bored.



Introversion Definition:

For Introverts: The reason you’re exhausted after what should have been a really good time with all of your friends and/or family.

For Extroverts: The reason your friend seems like kind of a jerk and isn’t much fun.

For Example:

Extroverts walk into a party and feed off the energy in the room. Everything is wonderful…. rainbows and unicorns.

Introverts walk into a party and begin expending energy as every person tries to make some superficial connection by asking how they’re doing or talking about weather. Each interaction depletes their energy and steals a tiny piece of their soul until they’ve been somewhere for a whole twenty minutes and they’re just a hollowed-out shell of a person with a bitchy resting face. You’ll notice they’re at minimum energy levels when they look like they want to kill everyone in the room including themselves… they probably won’t though.

At this point it would be courteous to let the person know there is a bedroom somewhere they can lay down and recharge… but that’s not what people do. Extroverts or “Energy Vampires” then try and engage them in some kind of a conversation about how “Tired” they look.

  1. If I AM tired, talking about it isn’t going to help.
  2. Who told you it was acceptable to tell someone they look tired? It’s never a compliment. It’s like telling someone they look pregnant. It’s still rude to say, even when it’s obvious.

At some point, introverts are just watching the clock and waiting for the appropriate amount of time to pass so they can leave, and not have it seem rude. It’s either a predetermined amount of time based on  when they showed up and how long they feel they need to stay to be polite. It could also be the point at which they just don’t have enough energy left to function like a normal human being.

When you see a person who is basically dying from over-exposure to people, remember that it’s nothing personal. You can’t help by talking about it with them. Find them a quiet space and bring them a snack and a glass of wine. Even if they WERE going to go on a murderous rampage, the fact that you helped might make them want to spare your life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s